I also work out with a personal trainer one day a week. He makes sure I incorporate strength training and some HIIT ala-CrossFit rather than just running. I really enjoy my sessions and always wake up with a good case of DOMS (delayed onset muscle soreness) the next day. So I thought it was really cool that my trainer offered to add an additional session per week at no additional cost.
Now I think he had another motive other than my typical badass, work-myself-to-death-and-love-it attitude. During my last session my Ink N Burn camisole flipped up during burpees showing my
A very old pic showing all my ink.
I got this tattoo on my 18th birthday and I don't regret it but I don't show it off either. My trainer has lots of tattoos so I wasn't worried about it. He made some small talk about our tattoos and future plans for more ink but I didn't think much of it. At some point he used the word 'cute' in what I thought was in reference to my tattoo.
Apparently I was wrong. This morning I was on my way to the office and I got a text from my trainer. It's not that odd for him to let me know he has an open session or has to cancel by text so I checked it when I arrived at my desk. The ensuing conversation went like this:
Trainer: Hey I didn't offend you with the cute comment did I?
Me: No. Not at all!
Trainer: Ok good! Cuz you are very cute.
*insert the theatrical music here.... dun, dun, dun....*
Me: Uh, thanks. LOL.
Trainer: LOL. You're welcome. Are you shy?
Me: No, not really but I am happily married.
Now I'm worried and upset and lots of other weird feelings. I never looked at my trainer as anything but a guy with a lot of muscle who knows a lot about workouts. I am not attracted to him and I would never betray my husband like that.
In essence, I'm worried that my gym, my sanctuary, has now become a place of stress. That it will be awkward to work out with him in the future. That, if I were to switch trainers, I might not get one as knowledgeable and well trained. That I might need to just cancel my membership and lose out on those lunch breaks altogether. And that, if I tell the gym why I do any of these things, he will lose his job. I don't like any of the solutions and I don't like being in this situation.
I wear my wedding ring to the gym, I talk about racing with my husband, I talk about our children and I can't think of a single time when I've ever given any hint that I'm not happy or would ever want to change my current status. I feel guilty, like I must have given the wrong impression at some point. I feel angry that my trainer would think it's appropriate to use his work to pick up married women. I feel confused about what to do and, most of all, I feel sickened and disgusted that this is happening at all.
So tell me, has this ever happened to you? If so what was the outcome, what did you choose to do, and why? What do you think that I should do and how should I handle it?